{listen}
Infused with notes of subtlety and non-fiction fury, February was coarse rimmed. Streamlined with saturated bouts of disbelief and uncertainty too. Knee walking, like a soldier amid the happenstance chance of a minefield explosion, I moved through the February of me. The words in type are heavy even now. Their weight is truth. Their presence is where better begins. Have you ever been so hopeful and long to beam out in blaring decibels of excitement for something only to be pummeled by the realness of your voice's cry? Yep. Meet my February.
My word for 2014 is vision. The dreamy lofty, but decisive determined kind. I want it desperately for my person. To be forthright and fortune seeking for the pace of my race. Inside a glass globe, it rests here. My visual representation:
12 months mark a year of days & nights. My plan is to take these pre-sectioned off clusters of time and hone in on a specific concept for producing me: VISIONARY. For a quick powder of the nose, I use these markers shown below to indicate my monthly progress.
In January, I spent time collecting. This post will get you up to speed on my month #1. January brought peeks. Tall ones that were fun sliding down. Open spaces for newness and reflection too. With the snowfalls of grace and good and growing, I moved with confidence into my February. Month #2 I would tackle the receiver that hears and the re-fueling of the pure kinda petrol for the heart siphoning out the tainted. In February, I would listen & release.
It's true that tiny packages pack a powerful punch. 28 days left me flummoxed and freaked out. With tasks like "release guilt" and "listen with your heart", my month was spent uphill & all the time. I efforted excellence. I went after the big guns of me. And I failed.
Markdowns were minimal this month as my time was scarce for deal finding. Though small in number, February was a month of quality purchases. A pair of Guess denim heels for $5.00. I have them on here twice. A denim onesie short set for $1.00. This number will look great when summer shines. Sandals or booties and a pair of big dangly earrings will be righteous. A light weight printed cardigan will be such a feminine add-on as well. I fell in love with the neckline and the mini ruffles down the front. Lastly, I scored this satin bubble gum pink dress for $1.00. LOVE THE POCKETS! The cut of this number is so sophisticated and minimal with just the right perk of detail. It was so comfortable the minute I zipped it up. My mind races at the multitude of ways this little pink lady can be worn. I feel a post much like the $1.00 Dress Challenge brewing with this newly moved in neighbor to my closet of Goodwill Hunting.
Ahh, what carried me this month. A glimpse at the sprinkled realness I call February.
I started a new Thursday tradition here on the blog. I went away for a weekend that I never dreamed I'd do. My Casey Face had a birthday party that filled the house with family and a Nintendo game controller cake created by Kenny & me. The laughter of cousins, aunt & uncles and grandparents filling the house is therapy I wish we could experience more often. I wrote poetry. Color on my plate was a continued priority. It just so happens to be 1 of the 5 key components of my stress moderation, not to mention, minimization. And I had the privilege of being invited to join a group of women from this area passionate about story and sharing. 
My mannequin look for this month #2 is a conservative one. In color & clean lines. Typically, I'm a color girl. The crazier the better. #funky could be a revolving hashtag on so many levels of my person. Yet this month felt void of color. It felt monotone and strong faced with the real inner-working gears crank twisting and joint turning in my mind.
TOTAL OUTFIT INVESTMENT: $30.98
My moral billboard for February is composed of the hit home kinda words I needed to remember. The black chalk board quote brings comfort in the failing times of trying. The words below it are core reminders. Equal if not more value lies in the space allotted for my heart and my mind. It deserves the care and the rest and the time invested. Joss Whedon's words hold my soul. Over-dramatic, Meghan? Not even in the least. The battle of becoming better is finding the medium that moves you for more. Writing is that very medium for me. Stinking it up. Ugh. Yes. Unfortunately, yes. Yet in my pungent smells wafted, I can be assured better is beginning. I cling to this hope. Over-dramatic, Meghan? Not even in the least.
February:
* * 2 out of 6 stars.Perhaps I should remind myself to tackle topics like guilt and anger in separate clusters of my 365. Yet guilt and anger live in me together. In unison, they devour. I knew, going in, this month would be tough. My fight will be on-going with the way guilt rings my innards out like a wet dish rag over & again. Squeezing me and then letting me free. She has less now than she ever has, but oh, I long for the day she is evicted forever from my person. I'm working. I am.
Listening. Working on this life necessity this month reminded me how much I don't actually do it. That was hard to type. All too often, I neglect the speaker in my over-zealous attempt to speak next in turn. Yes, that was even harder to type. I am holding onto the stink of this lesson. Inhaling the stench. My ears are here for others. They're receptacles of help. Using them more for their purpose takes practice. Lots more practice for me. "Excessive talking" has been drenched in red pen on my grade card since as early as Mrs. Vanzant's 1st grade class. Mrs. Shahan trumped her with many write-offs in the corner desk of 3rd grade. "Silence is golden." I hear you ladies. I do. Now more than ever.
2 down. 10 to go. Vision. Pace. Prayer. Perspective. Person. Coarse rimmed, I am making the most of my March already.
.mac :)