{golden}
I gave myself 30 seconds. These were the first 10 descriptors that surfaced when thinking of today's contributing author. She is a human born to build. On herself. On what she has been given. On what she seeks. On the betterment of others. This woman works. She considers every task instrumental and worthy of connection. Nooks & crannies like snail mail notes stamped, favorite snacks stock piled, homemade cakes baked and back-to-school baskets stuffed are just some of the wonderful corners she keeps tidy. Neat & resolute, this lady knows her trade and fashions it so very well in the life she calls hers.
Are we friends? Oh, I am so thankful to shout a resounding YEP to this interrogative. Are we close? Hmm. Depends on your definition. While our hungry bellies have never chowed down at Chik-Fil-A for lunch together, our kiddos/spouses have never met and we've never even spent more than 20 minutes face-to-face, I am still choosing to answer YES.
I consider her the strings section in my orchestra of life. She's beautifully tuned and so very harmonious. She is that violin reminding me of melody. Of those synchronized highs as our bows create the friction for euphoria's sake. And she is the bass upright & steady. Bouncing the dark deep beats that remind us we are human and in need of holy. Those low tones plucked are just as important to our rhythm of life if we want it real & good. This lady plays for me as I am quite certain she does for so many others. I sit at a distance from her clamoring away on my cymbals over in the percussion section. Together we work to keep time and tune with Him, our great conductor.
I am thankful for her cords. For her "PSSSHH-POW" in my clangings every now & again too. I consider it a privilege to glean from her goodness and to know her even if it's from all the away across the symphony floor. Real & good. Please welcome Mrs. Claire Wood to the blog.
In just over three years I have lived in three states; Tennessee, Texas and Georgia. Prior to that, I'd lived in or around the same zip code for THIRTY-FOUR years.
To say that this constant moving has been traumatizing for me is an understatement. My husband Ryan was commissioned as a Chaplain for the U.S. Army in 2011 and since that time our lives have been in full submission to God and country.
We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this unique ministry is exactly where the Lord wants us for this season of life with our three growing kids (Thomas, 10, Mae, 8, and Kate, 7).
It really has been a ministry for our whole family; from Ryan preaching in chapels, being the battalion chaplain (pastor) for over 600 soldiers in Texas and a battalion of many more than that in Georgia, to counseling and marriage retreats, to hospitality in our home, to the kids having myriad opportunities for travel, adventure and faith-testing, we have seen the Lord work in mighty ways in our family.
With the advent of this new ministry opportunity, everything in our lives has changed.
Literally everything.
We gave up the blessing of having our entire extended families nearby and very involved in the day-to-day lives of our family.
I gave up a job I enjoyed, a book club and bunco group that I'd been a part of for years, not to mention friendships that had endured elementary school, junior high and even college.
We gave up our church community, great public schools and pre-schools, wonderful sports opportunities, our regular doctors, dentists and even our hair stylists.
Giving up the familiar and laying down my own wants to follow the Lord's calling has been difficult for me some days. I'm selfish and want my life to be easy.
It seemed that no sooner than I began to feel like Texas was home, another big change was coming already. Barely a year into our time in Texas, it was time for Ryan to leave for a nine month deployment to Afghanistan. I would spend that time raising our kids in El Paso barely hanging on to my sanity.
For nearly all of 2013 I was in fight or flight mode.
I was continually over-compensating as a single parent. I was on alert for any and all potential emergencies with the kids. All of the financial and logistical decisions fell to me. I was holding my breath for every phone call or email from Ryan assuring me of his safety in a war-torn country. I had to repair our dryer, replace a dead bolt, repair a faulty car window and climb a ladder to replace all seven smoke alarm batteries. It was a lot to handle. And I lived this way for 243 straight days.
When Ryan finally returned home, safe and sound in my arms, I felt a huge emotional collapse on the horizon. Although I credit many of my feelings to the deployment, I know it really was a conglomeration of things from our move, to making the adjustments as a new home schooling family, and trying to make friends and quickly build community.
*****
Only seven months after Ryan returned to the states, we received orders that we would be moving in another three months to a new duty station. This brought on all of the stresses of saying goodbye to the Texas community that felt like we'd just settled into (church, chapel, kids' sports, friendships) and the new stresses of selling our home, and finding a new home two time-zones away.
I'm not sure if *you* have ever had the chance to completely shut down one life in one state in a matter of months and simultaneously (in one fell swoop) try and rebuild a new life in another state (house/church/kids activities and hobbies/shopping/friends), but it does not come without its challenges. Add to that mix my innate need to feel loved and known and it can be a lonely, tiresome, fatiguing and at times debilitating process.
The best way I know to describe it is that I felt like I was trudging through emotional quicksand. Every time I would begin to get my footing over the past three years and adjust to another new-normal, I felt like I was thrown another life transition or major obstacle and life drama and it was time again to figure out that next, new normal.
I have had a near-constant struggle with anxiety and some mild depression at each of these turns. Over the years I have sought the help of licensed counselors and even prescription medication but during this past year, I have tried doing all of the things I know to do in my own strength in order to snap out of my funk. For me, I knew I needed a perspective change and an attitude shift.
I ended 2013 with the promise and hope of a better year in 2014. Of the utmost importance to me is my faith in Jesus Christ. He is my present help in times of trouble. He is my friend that sticks closer than a brother. I began to look at Scripture as a means for finding some inspiration.
As many of us often do, I like to have a focus for each year. This often manifests itself in a theme word for the year and helps give me a goal for a cohesive spiritual motive as the months begin to pass.
With the approach of 2014 I was ready to turn over a new leaf. After much prayer and reading and sifting through Scripture, I knew the word the Lord was laying on my heart. I wanted 2014 to be a year of reflection and of joy but also a year of sanctification and consecration in my spiritual life.
*****
Enter, my word for 2014, GOLDEN.
The first chapter in the book of I Peter talks about being born again to a living hope. With the advent of this new year and new beginning, I was most certainly in need of a new, living hope.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." {I Peter 1:3-9}
I love the way Peter shares almost verbatim what my last few years have been like:
"grieved by various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith-- MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD that perishes though it is tested by fire--it may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ."
My faith has been tested by fire. For every difficult test, Christ has been there to help me pass. For every hour of loneliness, Christ has been walking beside me. For each change or transition, Christ has been my constant.Matthew Henry in his famous Commentary says this:
"A tried faith is much more precious than tried gold. Here is a double comparison of faith and gold, and the trial of the one with the trial of the other. Gold is the most valuable, pure, useful, and durable, of all the metals; so is faith among the Christian virtues; it lasts till it brings the soul to heaven, and then it issues in the glorious fruition of God for ever. The trial of faith is much more precious than the trial of gold; in both there is a purification, a separation of the dross, and a discovery of the soundness and goodness of the things. Gold does not increase and multiply by trial in the fire, it rather grows less; but faith is established, improved, and multiplied, by the oppositions and afflictions that it meets with. Gold must perish at last—gold that perisheth; but faith never will."
Every where I turned, little flickers of the illuminating, metallic color was showing up. It's not just showing up randomly. I am looking for the gold every where I go.
I found a new journal with gold touches, a new household binder with gold polka-dots where I keep our family calendar, budget and menu planning. #momswag
In my footwear, I've given a nod to gold as well. When I'm looking down, I see my gold sandals reminding me of my word for this year. Gold. Gold. Gold. Be refined. Be tested. Faith increased. Faith multiplied.
I have added some gold touches to our home decor. When I'm reading in my favorite chair, I'm lounging on this pillow. When I am tired and feeling defeated or drained I have another reminder of GOLD. Lord, refine me like gold. Though I walk through seasons of uncertainty and being the new girl in town (again). Jesus reveal yourself to me.
I even found some sa-weet!!! gold nail polish. I pulled out lots of my gold jewelry and began to strategically place little signs and small wonders all around me of this reminder.
Early in this year, one of my dear friends and mentors (with whom I'd shared my word for the year) sent me this wonderful Kate Spade "Heart of Gold" bracelet. And I have worn this baby out. It has practically held powers as a talisman of courage as I have walked through months of goodbyes and grief and more months of hellos and insecurity.
I even carried my gold purse most of the summer. I am not even kidding. As much as I have been able to all year long I have maintained this silent, personal campaign to keep I Peter 1:3-9 at the forefront of my head and my heart.
To date, I have set out to find all of the gold around me to let is serve as a reminder TO ME, that my FAITH (unlike gold), is established, improved and multiplied when tested by fire. God continues to use the circumstances in my life to deepen my relationship with Him.
I have tried to maintain a perspective this year (with more goodbyes in Texas, another relocation to a new state and community) that life happens. Every new situation is an opportunity to view my circumstances as a choice to be refined and purified like the precious metal of gold.
I'm learning that it's through these tests and trials that my faith goes through a purification process as well. It's needed and necessary in my spiritual life. Through the separation of the dross, I hope that I am decreasing so that He (Jesus Christ) may increase in me.
Is there some part of your life God is refining as gold? I'd love to hear all about it.
Hi! I'm Claire. I am a ____________ depending on what day you ask me. I am a family woman, an educator, an empathizer and an over-thinker. I devour books, eat my potato chips and French fries in size order smallest to largest and still believe in the power of a hand-written note. I love feeding my people well, marathoning television shows with my husband and talking walks alone.
To open all 31 gifts in this month long celebration, visit here.